stay-at-home mom – Katie L. Carroll

I often get asked the question of how I find the time to write. The short answer to this–and every single writer you know will also have this answer–is that I make the time to write. It’s important to me; it’s part of who I am and how I navigate the world. So no matter how busy I am, I make sure there is time for writing.

I’m lucky to have help from relatives a couple days of weeks with the kiddos. I have a husband who financially supports me, so I don’t have to work for money. Do I have as much time as I’d like to write? Nope. Do I find myself distracted when I do have writing time? You betcha (I’m looking at you, social media!). Is it hard to write when the country feels like a pile of garbage? It sure is. Do I sometimes have to put the writing aside to deal with the business of being a writer? Of course (there’s submitting to do, marketing to plan, chasing people down to get paid, and lots of other stuff that’s not actually writing). Do I write every day? Nope, not even close.

But I do it. With help. I recognize the privilege I have. I think it’s important to point out my privilege because it’s not something writers always talk about. It’s easier to be a writer when you have support. That’s not to say I don’t have my own struggles. I have trouble balancing writing time and taking care of the kids (which is my primary responsibility in life right now). I worry about money, my retirement, and how to pay for the kids to go to college. Now that the boys are growing, I worry about having to go out and get a job just to feed those growing little bodies. Yet, I still make the time to write.

Here’s the thing, I know writers who work full time, have kids, and don’t have the kind of help I have. They make time to write. They do it because it’s important to them. They find a way to create, even when it’s hard, even when it’s done in the wee hours of the night when it feels like everyone else is asleep. They do it even though they’re bone tired. They do it because it’s important to them.

I find the time to write because it’s important to me. So when people ask me about how I find the time to write. I usually say something like, “Oh, I have help with the kids a couple of days a week.” Though the real answer feels far more complicated than that. Or maybe it’s not. Maybe it all comes back to the short answer. I find the time to write because I make the time to write. I’m a writer. I don’t know how not to be one…so I write (but not every day!).

This month’s #Inkripples of career vs. hobby had me scratching my head. Is my writing a career or a hobby? I’m not sure. I think somewhere in between. Here’s my dilemma: I’m a stay-at-home parent who also works on the side. So family stuff is the first priority, but my main “work” (quotes because raising kids is work in and of itself, but let’s say for this post, it means something not having to do with the kiddos) right now is writing, with a little freelance editing on the side.

But I am not financially independent right now (I have a mini panic attack every time I think too hard about this fact). I depend on my husband’s job to pay the bills, for health insurance, and to make sure my kids are fed. My husband and I made the decision to become a one-income family after lots of thought and careful consideration of whether or not we could make it work financially.

The question remains whether or not writing will become my career once the kids are bigger and I go back to work. I really have no desire to go back to an office job like I had before kids (I was a puzzle magazine editor…I certainly didn’t hate the job, but after doing it for 8 years, it became tedious). And I wand to have the flexibility to be able to support my kids as they grow because even big kids will require my time. I’m not sure I want to commit full-time to a gig economy either.

Do I want to back to school? Do I want to work in a field that isn’t writing and write on the side like I did when I worked full-time? Do I want to just get a job at a bookstore or a cafe or open a tea shop and write in my free time? (Notice writing will likely always factor into the picture.)

The answers to questions definitely depend on what my situation will be when my youngest (now only 3 months old) is big enough for me to have to make a decision. So I have some time to decide. The pie-in-the-sky hope is that I end up with a string of best-selling books and I won’t have to worry about what my job will be because it will be writing. But, honestly, so few people can support themselves this way that if feels irresponsible not to at least think about what else I will do for work.

And thinking about all this right now gives me anxiety. I guess for now, I’ll just try to enjoy taking care of my little ones and being able to squeeze in the writing time when I can.

How about you? Do you have any hobbies that could potentially become a career? Or do you like that your hobbies are just that, hobbies?

#InkRipples is a monthly meme created by Katie L. Carroll, Mary Waibel, and Kai Strand. We pick a topic (October is all about Career vs. Hobby), drop a ripple in the inkwell (i.e. write about it on our blogs), and see where the conversation goes. We’d love to have you join in the conversation on your own blogs or on your social media page. Full details and each month’s topic can be found on my #InkRipples page.