Mommy’s Night Before Christmas

Posted by Katie L. Carroll on December 21, 2015 in Anecdote, Family, Holidays, Poetry |

Mommy’s Night Before Christmas

by Katie L. Carroll

‘Twas the night before Christmas, the kids were in bed

Anxiously awaiting the Big Man in Red;

The stockings weren’t hung (we don’t have a chimney),

We just set them down in front of the TV.

Who am I kidding? The kids weren’t sleeping,

The baby was teething, drooling, and weeping;

The preschooler was playing with a million toys,

Driving his cars and making lots of noise.

Half an hour later, the baby passed out,

His brother went to bed (not without a good pout);

I let out a great big sigh of relief,

Then I looked around and thought, “Oh, good grief!”

The house was a mess, the laundry never-ending,

And there was still that ornament that needed mending.

At least we were done hiding that stupid elf,

Went back where he came from, him and his shelf;

Hours passed, we thought we were finally done;

We found more gifts, the fun had just begun;

We were out of wrapping paper and tape,

Reused gift bags put us back in good shape;

I sat down to relax, put my feet up,

Snuggled into a blanket with my tea cup;

A bang outside roused me to my feet,

I peeked out the curtains, looked down the street.

“I don’t think it’s the neighbors,” Daddy said;

“What? You think it’s Santa in his big sled?”

He went to check it out, shot me a look,

And told me to go back to reading my book;

A minute later, I heard a great yell,

And said under my breath, “What the hell?”

I put on my shoes, grabbed the monitor,

Slipped into a coat, and stomped out the door;

The clear winter night brought no Christmas snow,

Instead moonlight washed the yard in a soft glow;

Daddy stood there staring up at the roof;

I hissed, “What are you doing, you big doof?”

He merely pointed, his face full of fear,

And gave a soft whisper, “It’s a reindeer.”

Now, I haven’t believed since I was six,

Thought surely his eyes must be playing tricks;

Then I heard a stomping and a nicker

That made my heart beat a little quicker;

Looking up, I saw the brown muzzle, red nose,

The Fat Man himself, and I simply froze.

Daddy and I exchanged a look of wonder,

The shock could’ve put us six feet under;

I shook my head and came to my senses,

Glared at Santa, went on the offensive;

“Get off my roof, your reindeer too,” I hissed;

I glared at Santa, feeling really pissed;

He laughed, “Don’t end up on my naughty list.”

Clearly this guy wasn’t getting my gist.

“With all due respect, get the hell out of here;

If you wake my kids, you won’t see next year.”

Quiet as a shadow those reindeer took flight,

Santa whispered, “Merry Christmas and good night.”

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