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Japanese Wedding Traditions from S.J. Pajonas Author of Released

I’m super thrilled to have S. J. Pajonas and her Nogiku Series back on the blog. She is celebrating her the release of book #2 Released (see my 5-star Goodreads review here) and sharing a bit about Japanese weddings and offering a giveaway. Welcome, S. J.!

S J Pajonas Nogiku Banner

Whenever I sit down to write another book in the Nogiku Series, I first think hard about what new and interesting Japanese traditions I want to highlight in that book. For REMOVED, I introduced a lot of Japanese language and culture but made sure to touch on a few bigger events: New Year’s Eve, swordfighting, Japanese food and the izakaya phenomenon, a geisha party, and then a taiko drumming concert. It was a hard one to beat!

So when RELEASED came before me, I was pleased that one main event would stand out: a wedding! Now, I’ve been a Japanophile for as long as I can remember and when my husband and I got married, I incorporated a few Japanese traditions into our ceremony. Let’s look at a few of the more obvious Japanese wedding traditions and then I’ll touch on the traditions of attending a wedding.

Japanese Wedding

The dress, the umbrella, and the cups

A traditional Japanese wedding kimono is called a shiromuku (“Shiro” meaning white and “muku” meaning purity) and it is one beast of a kimono. I actually own one. I bought it before we got married because I thought it might be fun to get married in one, but I tried it on once and decided against it. They are very heavy, made of silk and usually woven in intricate patterns across the back. Mine has a heron and bamboo woven into it. The hem is unusual as well. It’s stuffed and padded, rounded so that the fabric weighs straight when worn.

In the photo above, you’ll notice that everything the bride is wearing is white. This is also a tradition symbolizing her purity and her willingness to be dyed the colors of her groom. The wedding hood she wears is the wataboshi and is usually only worn during the ceremony.

The red umbrella is very symbolic of Japanese weddings. The color red in Japan means life and wards off evils and the umbrella itself keeps the bride dry if it happens to be raining. It’s quite large and usually carried by man who follows the bride in a wedding procession.

The tradition of san-san-kudo was a component of my own wedding ceremony. I describe it in RELEASED as:

“One of the temple maidens lays out three cups of different sizes: small, medium, and large. I’m familiar with this ritual called san-san-kudo, three-three-nine times. The tradition is the bride and groom each take three sips from each of the three cups, going from smaller to larger cup, until each has consumed nine sips of rice wine. Nine is a lucky number for couples because it cannot be divided equally in two, and the number three is also lucky because it’s prime. So three, three times, is three times as lucky.”

So the interesting thing about san-san-kudo is that the number 9 itself is considered an unlucky number in Japan. It’s pronunciation, ku, sounds like the word for “torture” or “agony” and it is often omitted from places like hospitals. All Nippon Airways does not use the number either. But in the case of this ceremony, since it’s three times three, it’s different.

Writing a wedding ceremony

I have never been to a Japanese Shinto wedding so, writing about one, I wondered what they were like. I’m so thankful for YouTube! I watched several before I sat down to write the wedding in the book. Here’s a playlist of several videos you might be interested in. (The first one in this list was so beautiful it made me cry. Make sure you have tissues.)

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWPSOQScLodyOkoVh7p8kfuF7fTj56mSg

Attending a Japanese wedding

I don’t go into much detail in RELEASED about what guests are expected to do at a Japanese wedding because the event is very dramatic for Sanaa, my heroine, all on its own. But here are a few things to remember if you’re ever invited to one.

  • A wedding gift is usually cash and sometimes the invites will come with a suggested Yen amount to be gifted depending on how well you know the bride or groom. The gift should be given in one-man bills (equal to about $100) and should be an odd number so they cannot be split evenly between the couple. There is a special white envelope tied in red that should be used and the fancier the envelope the better. Most stationery stores in Japan have them.
  • Dress nicely! Japanese weddings are not dressed-down affairs. It’s not black-tie, but it’s close. If you’re a woman, wear a nice dress (not black), get your hair done, etc. Men, please wear a nice suit. Ties are a must. If in doubt, dress conservatively.
  • There are usually several after-ceremony parties unlike Western ceremonies. The first one you attend is the main one, then there may be several after that organized by the friends and/or family. You are usually required to pay to attend them (which covers drinks, food, the venue, etc). Be sure to have plenty of cash on hand.
  • Please do not be late! Arrive early for everything.
  • You may be asked to give a speech. Yes. It seems most people at a Japanese wedding are expected to say something nice to the bride and groom. A short, congratulatory statement will do.

Still interested?

If you’d like to learn more about Japanese weddings, read this article on GoJapan.About.com.

And I have also put together this Pinterest board on Japanese Weddings. Enjoy!

(All images in this post are used under http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en)

S J Pajonas Removed

REMOVED (The Nogiku Series, #1)
By S. J. Pajonas
Genre: Science Fiction Romance, Post-apocalyptic
Age category: Adult
Release Date: September 11, 2013

Blurb:
Can she piece together the truth before Earth’s last city tears itself apart?

It’s easy for Sanaa to ignore the first signs of trouble. After all, she’s living her dream with a job and life she loves. But when she’s reassigned as a data analyst for a mysterious, well-connected man, she starts to piece together the alarming reality. Corrupt clans vie for control of the city, desperate for a ticket off the dying planet.

As war looms between the clans, Sanaa’s new boss sends her to train with Jiro, an expert swordsman. Forbidden to share the dangerous secrets she’s learned with her family, she confides in Jiro, bringing them closer with every word, strike, and parry. Together, they realize that Sanaa’s boss is keeping secrets of his own.

When the truth comes to light, the war and Sanaa’s world could be changed forever. To save her family and forge a new peace for her city, Sanaa has no choice but to risk her life for the human race.

REMOVED is the first installment in the Nogiku Series, a saga of post-apocalyptic sci-fi novels set in future Japan. If you like tenacious heroines, sizzling chemistry, and unique post-apoc settings, then you’ll love S. J. Pajonas’ dystopian adventure.

You can find REMOVED on Goodreads

Want to view some inspirational images for REMOVED, visit the REMOVED inspirational Pinterest board

You can find all the links to download REMOVED at https://www.spajonas.com/removed/

S J Pajonas Released

RELEASED (The Nogiku Series, #2)
By S. J. Pajonas
Genre: Science Fiction Romance, Post-apocalyptic
Age category: New Adult
Release Date: December 17, 2013

Blurb:
Sanaa must deal with her fate.

Left in the desert to recuperate from her injuries, Sanaa Itami paces the floors and contemplates her mistakes. She trusted too easily, and now people she loved are dead, killed at the hands of men coming to assassinate her. Sanaa feels beaten, but life awaits her at home. While her city recovers from the devastating earthquake, negotiations for Sanaa’s future continue. New allies must be made, new friendships brokered, new skills acquired — at all costs.

Life at the top of the chain is complicated and lonely, though. With all her friendships rocky and uncertain, Sanaa must learn to trust others again more than she’s willing. Who is left holding a grudge? And will the new family Sanaa has found with Jiro support or betray her?

RELEASED is the second installment in the Nogiku Series, a saga of post-apocalyptic sci-fi novels set in future Japan.

You can find RELEASED on Goodreads

You can find all the links to purchase RELEASED at https://www.spajonas.com/released/

About the Author:

Stephanie (S. J.) is a writer, knitter, amateur astrologer, Capricorn, Japanophile, and USA Today Best Selling author. She loves foxes, owls, sushi, yoga pants, Evernote, and black tea. When she’s not writing, she’s thinking about writing or spending time outside, unless it’s winter. She hates winter. Someday she’ll own a house in both hemispheres so she can avoid the season entirely. She’s a mom to two great kids, one feisty dog named Lulu Ninja Assassin, and lives with her husband and family outside NYC. When it comes to her work, she writes about everyday women and uncommon worlds. Find her online at https://www.spajonas.com

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8 Comments

  1. S. J. Pajonas (spajonas)

    Katie, thanks so much for being a part of my tour! I really enjoyed putting this post together. There’s something so beautiful and ancient about traditional Japanese weddings. I really hope to attend one someday!

    • Katie L. Carroll

      Always great to have you on the blog! This was such an interesting cultural post…I love learning something on my own blog. 🙂

  2. Kai

    How fascinating! Thanks for sharing your knowledge of Japanese weddings with us. I’m intrigued how it fits into your book.

    • Katie L. Carroll

      Hi, Kai! I can tell you without being spoilery that there is a beautiful Japanese wedding in the book. The futuristic world is highly populated by Japanese people and is steeped in their culture. It’s a wonderful blend of old and new.

  3. Loren

    I’ve been intrigued in cultural norms and practices long before I had to study different cultures extensively in graduate school, so I read this with my eyes glued to the screen (really, I was leaning in!).

    I find it so interesting that the bride’s dress is white, just as wedding gowns in the Western world are.

    • Katie L. Carroll

      Hi, Loren! That was an interesting surprise to learn about the white dresses. With all the rich colors of kimonos, I was surprised about that.

  4. S. J. Pajonas (spajonas)

    Thanks for stopping by, ladies! Japanese wedding traditions are a lot of fun. Definitely watch the videos if you get a chance. That first one brought on tears 🙂

  5. Wedding Planners in Jaipur

    Thanks for sharing your knowledge of Japanese weddings with us.

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