I’ve been reading a lot about fairy tales and myths as I put together my workshop for my (sold-out!!!) New England SCBWI conference workshop “Something Borrowed, Something New: Mining Myths, Legends, and Fairy Tales to Write Fantasy.”
As I read and study different versions of fairy tales, it’s interesting to note that they can sometimes have gaping plot holes. Even as a kid, I can remember on occasion thinking, “Why didn’t they just do [fill in simple solution here that for some reason was overlooked]?”
My brain, in all its infinite wisdom, starting taking this to a whole new level (perhaps my constant state of sleep deprivation contributed to this as well) where I’ve been thinking of all these ways that fairy tale problems could be easily solved. So here’s my list of fairy tale one-liners:
Child protective services is called in, dear-old step-momma is arrested for child neglect and abuse, step-sisters are sent to foster care, and Cinderella becomes an emancipated minor who happily lives off her father’s life insurance policy.
Merryweather–the fairy who gives Aurora her gift after Maleficent casts her spell–gifts steel-tipped fingers to Aurora, who is already betrothed to Prince Phillip, her true love, so they live happily ever after without all that drama.
THE PRINCESS AND THE PEA:
The prince’s mother is a gracious host and lets the rain-soaked princess sleep in a Temperpedic, so the princess gets such a good night’s sleep that she’s in an awesome mood and the prince can’t help but fall in love with her.
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD:
The grandmother sends Little Red Riding Hood some bus money, so Red doesn’t have to travel through the dark, scary woods all by herself, never meets the wolf, and has a nice lunch with grandma.
Instead of eating the witch’s rapunzel plant and having to give her daughter to the witch, Rapunzel’s mom sends her husband out in the middle of the night for pickles and ice cream, ya know, like a normal pregnant woman.
Kidding aside, I love fairy tales and myths, and feel so lucky that I get to read them for actual work. What are your favorite fairy tales, folklore, and myths? What ways would you twist them into one-liners?